"Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balance by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity."

--Carl Jung

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Christmas for Sale

What is Christmas? What is the significance of this day? These questions bug me every now and then.  They say that Christmas is both a sacred religious holiday and a worldwide cultural and commercial event.  People around the world have been observing it with traditions and practices that are both religious and earthy in nature. Christians celebrate Christmas Day as the anniversary of the birth of Jesus of Nazareth, a spiritual leader whose teachings form the basis of their religion. Popular habits include exchanging gifts, decorating Christmas trees, attending church, sharing meals with family and friends and, of course, waiting for Santa Claus to arrive. But is this the real importance of Christmas? When you ask a child, what is Christmas for him; maybe he might say that is about party and gifts. As of now, children usually think of material things about it.  But not only children think this way but also older people.  Most of the time older people affect the children perception about it.  The essence of Christmas somehow fades because of their earthy frame of mind.  What make them happy are the things they get from this occasion.  On the other hand, there are still some people looks Christmas as time of thank-giving, forgiving, and loving everyone around them.  This is the time of peace and care.  This is the real importance of Christmas to spread love and understanding, to give what you think is worthy for other without waiting for a return token.
What if you would encounter someone who’s selling Christmas?  Selling Christmas? Maybe you are wondering about that. But what would you do?  As a future educator, how would you handle that kind situation?  How would you establish the real essence of Christmas to those children?  How would you convince them that material thing can’t buy the true happiness of this occasion?  But before that let’s define, what is Christmas for sale?  This is an action where people seem to be materialistic.  For them, Christmas is about gifts and presents that the can get from this celebration.  They can get satisfaction from those things. 
For me, as a future educator I will be one of the guidance of these students to change their mind setting about Christmas and material things. I will tell them that Christmas is al matter of sacrifices and the joy you can give to others. It’s not about what you get but then it’s about what can you give.  Emotional satisfaction is more fulfilling than material things.  If you can learn how to appreciate things and be thankful of what you have, at the end you would say that Christmas is in our heart not in our eyes.  Things fade but memories still remain.  The essence of Christmas is love not want.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

SUMMARY OF COMMON PROBLEMS OF EARLY CHILDHOOD


In pediatric office practice, physicians and nurses are often asked to treat common behavioral problems. Children with a history of abuse, neglect, or abandonment may present to the pediatrician with symptoms including anger, aggressive behaviors, depression, or difficulties sustaining attention. In many cases, the children are no longer exposed to direct threat but present with residual behaviors that can be linked to neurophysiological responses to previous maltreatment. When the children are in foster or adoptive care or when a birth parent's circumstances have improved, caregivers may be attentive and consistent in their attempts to address a child's maladaptive behaviors but still find typical behavior-modification strategies unsuccessful. In many cases, the child's exaggerated reactions to stressful stimuli can cause the caregivers to act in ways that reinforce the child's misbehavior.
When attentive and consistent parenting seems ineffective, the physician would do well to remember that early maltreatment (physical or sexual abuse, neglect, or exposure to violence and fear) can deprive the child of the tools needed to adapt to a larger social environment. In addition to denying the developing child necessary social interactions, early maltreatment can alter the normal child's neural physiology, significantly changing the expected responses to stress and affecting the child's ability to learn from experience.
EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS
Emotional problems in children have become more widely recognized. A child's emotional problem can become a chronic problem if it's not attended to properly and in a timely manner. Many adult emotional problems can also affect children, but these problems may not be as easily recognized in children. Some emotional problems in children can be treated quite easily, but some require long-term care that can be complicated.
PHYSICAL PROBLEMS

Mental retardation, learning disorders, communication skills disorders and pervasive developmental disorders (such as autistic disorder) appear to have biological components. Some psychologists specialize in the identification and treatment of these disorders, but they are not frequently encountered in a general psychological practice because of the need for specialized training and treatment. Therefore, they will not be discussed here. Elimination disorders are encountered in general psychological practice, but are typically seen as a symptomatic expression of other psychological problems.
SOCIAL PROBLEMS
 Peer relationships

Are important to children's development. Friends not only provide companionship and recreation, but meet other needs as well. Through interactions with peers, children learn valuable social skills.
Working with Shy or Withdrawn Students

This digest focuses on the middle range of such students, who are commonly described as SHY (inhibited, lacking in confidence, socially anxious) or WITHDRAWN (unresponsive, uncommunicative, or daydreaming) and suggests strategies for working with these student


BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS
Psychosocial disorders
This range of disorders may be caused by a number of factors such as parenting style which is inconsistent or contradictory, family or marital problems, child abuse or neglect, overindulgence, injury or chronic illness, separation or bereavement.1

The child's problems are often multi-factorial and the way in which they are expressed may be influenced by a range of factors including developmental stage, temperament, coping and adaptive abilities of family, the nature and the duration of stress. In general, chronic stressors are more difficult to deal with than isolated stressful events.
These may manifest as disturbance in:
Emotions e.g. anxiety or depression
Behaviors e.g. aggression
Physical function e.g. psychogenic disorders
Mental performance e.g. problems at school
          Habit disorders
All children will at some developmental stage display repetitive behaviors but whether they may be considered as disorders depends on their frequency and persistence and the effect they have on physical, emotional and social functioning. These habit behaviors may arise originally from intentional movements which become repeated and then become incorporated into the child's customary behavior. Some habits arise in imitation of adult behavior. Other habits such as hair pulling or head banging develop as a means of providing a form of sensory input and comfort when the child is alone.
These include a range of phenomena that may be described as:
·         Tension reducing habit disorders
·         Thumb sucking
·         Repetitive vocalizations
·         Tics
·         Nail biting
·         Hair pulling
·         Breath holding
·         Air swallowing     
·         Head banging
·         Manipulating parts of the body
·         Body rocking
·         Hitting or biting themselves
Anxiety Disorders
Anxiety and fearfulness are part of normal development; however, when they persist and become generalized they can develop into socially disabling conditions and require intervention. Approximately 6-7% of children may develop anxiety disorders and of this 1/3 may be over-anxious while 1/3 may have some phobia. Generalized anxiety disorder, childhood onset social phobia, separation anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder and phobia are demonstrated by a diffuse or specific anxiety predictably caused by certain situations.

Disruptive Behaviors
Much behavior, which is probably undesirable but a normal occurrence at an early stage of development, can be considered pathological when they present at a later age. In the young child many behaviors such as breath-holding or temper tantrums are probably the result of anger and frustration at their inability to control their own environment. For some of these situations it is wise for parents to avoid a punitive response and if possible to remove themselves from the room. It is quite likely that the child will be frightened by the intensity of there own behavior and will need comfort and reassurance. While some isolated incidents of stealing or lying are normal occurrences of early development they may warrant intervention if they persist. Truancy, arson, antisocial behavior and aggression should not be considered as normal developmental features.
Sleeping Problems
Sleep disorders can be defined as too much or too little sleep than is appropriate for the age of the child. By the age of 1-3 months the longest daily sleep should be between midnight and morning. Sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone but at the age of 1 year 30% of children may still be waking in the night. Stable sleep patterns may not be present until age 5 years but parental or environmental factors can encourage the development of circadian rhythm.

Problem Checklist

Name: _____________________________________ Date:_________________
Individual Problem Checklist
Directions:
Put a number next to any item which you experience.
1=mildly, 2=moderately, 3=severely
Emotional Concerns

__________________________________________________

Behavioral and Physical Concerns

_______________________________________________
Intimate Relationship Concerns
_________________________________________________
Sexual Concerns
_________________________________________________
When Growing Up to Present Time:
___________________________________________________
Stresses During the Past Several Years:
Please State Your Goals for Therapy
1.______________________________________________________________________________________________
2.______________________________________________________________________________________________
3.______________________________________________________________________________________________
Additional Comments:
©Douglas Tilley, LCSW
:
____death of family member or friend - who?
____birth or adoption of child
____self or family member hospitalized - who?
____moved
____being harassed or assaulted
____frequent family or couple arguments
____separation/divorce
____an important relationship ending - who?
____losing or changing job
____financial trouble
____legal problems
____natural disaster
____serious or chronic illness -what:________
____________________________________________
____other
____being physically abused - by whom?
____being emotionally abused - by whom?
____being sexually abused - by whom?
____having an alcoholic parent - which?
____having a drug abusing parent - which?
____having a depressed parent - which?
____having a parent with emotional problems
____having parents separate or divorce
____close family member dying - who?
____felt neglected or unloved - by whom
____having an unhappy childhood
____having serious medical problems - what?
____having drug or alcohol problem
____frequent moves
____having learning problems - what?
____having emotional problems
____having attempted suicide - when?
____worrying about getting pregnant
____having miscarriage(s)
____choice of birth control
____having an abortion
____not able to become pregnant
____not enjoying sexual affection
____too tired to have sex
____too anxious to have sex
____feeling a lack of sexual desire
____wanting to have sex more often
____feeling neglected sexually
____feeling used sexually
____feeling unable to have orgasm
____being unable to sustain an erection
____feeling negatively about sex
____feeling misunderstood in relationship
____not feeling close to partner
____trouble communicating with partner
____not trusting partner
____lack of respect by partner
____partner being secretive
____lack of fairness in relationship
____problems with dividing household tasks
____disagreeing about children
____lack of affection
____unsatisfactory sexual relationship
____lack of time together
____lack of shared interests
____lack of positive interaction
____lack of time with other couples
____jealousy in relationship
____frequent arguments
____trouble resolving conflict
____partner being demanding and controlling
____partner putting you down
____violent arguments
____emotional abuse in relationship
____physical abuse in relationship
____sexual abuse in relationship
____partner having alcohol or drug problem
____self or partner having an affair
____feeling uncommitted to relationship
____wanting to separate
____discussing separating or divorce
____problems with in-laws
____problems with ex-partner
____problems with step parents
____children having special problems
____not having an appetite
____eating in binges
____self induced vomiting for weight control
____using laxatives for weight control
____eating too much
____eating too little
____losing weight - how much?_____
____gaining weight - how much?____
____trouble sleeping
____trouble falling asleep
____early morning awakening
____sleeping too much
____sleeping too little
____# of hours I usually sleep: _____
____lack of exercise
____not having leisure activities
____smoking cigarettes
____often spending in binges
____temper outbursts
____aggressive toward others
____impulsive reactions
____trouble finishing things
____working too hard
____using alcohol too much
____being alcoholic
____using drugs
____driving under the influence
____blackouts - after drinking
___Yes ___No Have you ever felt you ought to cut down on your drinking or drug use?
___Yes ___No Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking or drug use?
___Yes ___No Have you ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking or drug use?
___Yes ___No Have you ever had a drink or used drugs first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or to get rid of a hangover?
____feeling anxious or uptight
____excessive worrying
____not being able to relax
____feeling panicky
____unable to calm yourself down
____dwelling on certain thoughts or images
____fearing something terrible about to happen
____avoiding certain thoughts or feelings
____having strong fears
____worrying about a nervous breakdown
____feeling out of control
____avoiding being with people
____fears of being alone or abandoned
____feeling guilty
____having nightmares
____flashbacks
____troubling or painful memories
____missing periods of time - can't remember
____trouble remembering things
____feeling numb instead of upset
____feeling detached from all or part of body
____feeling unreal, strange or foggy
____feeling depressed or sad
____being tired or lacking energy
____feeling unmotivated
____loss of interest in many things
____having trouble concentrating
____having trouble making decisions
____feeling the future looks hopeless
____feeling worthless or a failure
____being unhappy all the time
____dissatisfied with physical appearance
____feeling self critical or blaming yourself
____having negative thoughts
____crying often
____feeling empty
____withdrawing inside yourself
____thinking too much about death
____thoughts of hurting yourself
____thoughts of killing yourself
____frequent mood swings
____feeling resentful or angry
____feeling irritable or frustrated
____feeling rage
____feeling like hurting someone